Dear Matt, Kay & Tim,
So this is part of my best attempt to be helpful and not intrusive but also pass on the wisdom I have learned through trial and error and mistakes.
When I was in my 20's, my dad was not much intentional help during my 20's. And I did not know what I did not know. No stones thrown here! ... just saying what was. The assumption was I should either know this or be experienced and wise enough to know how to not be "sold" something. Since I was not either experienced or wise, I "bought" financial services I should not have purchased and waited too long to learn.
So this is my attempt at being an intentional dad and help you get to age 30 when in Jewish tradition, you are old enough to become a rabbi. I want you to be good rabbis!
Here are some 5 important financial tasks to complete in the 1-2 months after you get married. The sooner you do it ... the better. Hopefully, it will aid in building unity, oneness and freedom with each other.
Love you ... dad.
Five Important Financial Tasks After Your Wedding!
1. Change beneficiaries on all your retirement accounts (IRA, 401k , 403b).
Sometimes you can do this online, but most companies rightly ask you sign something and scan/send it in so that there is signature authority for this important change.
2. Add each other to all bank accounts & credit accounts.
If you are not able to do this, initially then, do not close those personal credit accounts since they somehow play into your credit score. BUT ... be sure to discuss and have agreement on the non-use or if necessary use of private credit accounts.
3. Plan a quarterly summary of your accounts and budget discussion.
Regular financial discussions will help build your unity and oneness. And it will create an important rhythm of talking about dreams and ambitions in the context of earnings, giving, spending, saving and investing. Doing it every 3 months, will allow for important transparency about spending and investing so that it does not go assumed for too long.
4. Purchase additional life insurance on each other.
I will write separately on that front.
5. Be cautious about the phrase "My Accounts"
I cannot stress enough the importance of having only shared accounts and having each other on the accounts. Private accounts that are "my money" lead to disunity, distrust and erode oneness faster in marriage than anything I have seen in my life.
In 2018, I worked with a client whose wife had a private account that grew from $400K before they got married to $800K in 5 years. The problem was it was "her" account. She did not and would not make it a joint account. It was a sign post to what eventually happened - a bitter and acrimonious divorce. There was disunity in their marriage from the start and it only got worse.
If and when you establish a business, open up business accounts but be transparent about these as well.
